You Remind Me Of
by floorplanhobo
Summary: He needs to move on, he knows that. It's the logical thing to do. But when Eli meets an unexpected "friend" on his birthday, he knows that he can't let go of Clare that easily. Future fic, two-shot.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi. **

**Author's note: After re-reading **_**Xynedochy**_** and **_**The Heart Rate of A Mouse **_**by arctic_grey and watching **_**Marley and Me**_** last week, I came up with the idea for this fic. It's a two-shot, it's kind of cutesy, kind of angsty, and I hope that you like it. **

"_You remind me of a former love that I once knew... and you carry a little piece with you."_

_**I Have Friends in Holy Spaces | Panic! At The Disco **_

"No. No."

Eli rips off the page from his journal and he sighs exasperatedly, throwing it into the trashcan that is located next to him. It's a sunny day, and he's surrounded by laughing children, perfect lovers and beautiful weather… and he wants to kill himself.

His phone is still buzzing with _Happy Birthday_! text messages, but he doesn't care at all. He's 24 years old, single, he has a crappy job as a part-time copy editor at a weekly publication, and life is just not interesting.

He stares down at his journal and sees the little sketches of a girl on the margins, and he hates himself. After all these years, after not having any contact with her whatsoever, she still haunts him. Clare Edwards is permanently tattooed in his mind, and no matter how hard he tries, he can't get rid of her.

He attempts to start writing again, but he only ends up drawing Clare's face on the page, and he knows it's quite pathetic. Lovelorn Elijah Goldsworthy, still longing after the girl who dumped him after his mental breakdown. No wonder his relationships haven't worked out. Eli brings his journal close to his face, the tip of his nose barely touching the drawing, and he smirks at himself.

"Woof."

Eli puts the journal down and stares at the dog sitting in front of him, its head beckoned to the side. It's a cute pup, looks like a cross between a beagle and something else, undoubtedly a mutt. There's a black spot around its left eye, making the dog look endearing.

"Hey," says Eli softly and reaches out to pet it. The dog barks again and Eli puts his journal aside and tries to check if the dog has any tags at all. Its fur looks dirty, and there's a scar on one of its legs.

"Are you lost?" asks Eli quietly as some kids run by them, and he looks up to see if there's someone looking for it. Eli continues to scratch the dog behind the ear, and the pup starts growling contently.

"I have to go," says Eli, letting go of the dog and grabbing his things from the bench. The puppy whimpers as Eli stands up and looks at him with sad, huge eyes.

"Sorry, bud, I can barely take care of myself, let alone a dog," says Eli sadly, and starts walking away. The dog is stubborn and continues to follow him as he walks, and Eli feels uneasy.

"Seriously, just… stay," says Eli, turning around to face it. "Maybe your owner will come back."

The dog sits and just stares at Eli as if defying him, its tail wagging. Eli hesitates for a second and looks around before picking it up.

"Okay… Okay," says Eli, not convinced. "Maybe we can find your owner, sir. Or ma'am…"

Eli tentatively looks at the dog and realizes that it's a he. "Sir," smirks Eli, holding the dog closer to him. It feels so warm and the dog starts licking Eli's face, making the latter's heart flutter.

_**Later**_

Eli takes a picture of the puppy with his camera, hoping to put out a flyer tomorrow morning. He can't keep the dog, it's not his, and there's probably someone out there looking for it.

"What's your name, pup?" asks Eli, sitting on the cold floor. The dog yawns and lies down next to Eli, both of them ignoring the TV next to them. Eli doesn't have a lot of furniture (too expensive) and the only available couch is currently serving as a dresser.

He opens the bag of chips that he's holding, and the dog starts sniffing around. "I need to give you a name… hmmm…" Eli hands it a chip and the dog snatches it from his fingers quickly, licking his muzzle after swallowing.

"Not sure that's healthy for you," chuckles Eli and he feeds it another one. "Hmm. How about… Salty?"

The dog barks and nibbles on one of Eli's fingers, and Eli starts laughing. "Okay, that's a no…" Eli grabs the dog and gives it a little kiss on the top of its head, and it growls.

Eli has been feeling terribly lonely lately, and just having another living thing in his apartment makes him feel somewhat elated. Even if it's a dog that dislikes the name Salty.

"Chuck! I should name you Chuck," says Eli excitedly. "Not that this is permanent or anything, because we will find your owner… unless you don't have one?"

Chuck (yes, that will be the dog's name from now on, Eli has decided) licks Eli on the nose and barks happily, his brown eyes shining with emotion. Eli didn't know an animal was capable of showing that kind of feelings. Or maybe it's because he has been alone for too long.

"It's my birthday today," says Eli sadly, and Chuck licks him again. Eli smiles at him, trying to avoid feeling overtly pathetic. He needs a drink.

"Be right back, Chuck," says Eli, standing up as he attempts to retrieve a beer from the fridge. These have been his weekends lately; he goes to the park and attempts to write a novel that will never get finished, then he comes back to his apartment and gets slightly drunk. Sometimes he will even go through the phone book looking for a Clare Edwards, but nobody needs to know that.

Eli stares at the contents of his almost-empty bridge and he wants to laugh at the mess that is his life. He needs to move on, he knows that. Five different therapists told him that. Adam tells him that every time they hang out, which is why Eli avoids talking to him. His parents will casually mention it whenever he visits.

The thing is, Eli _knows _that he needs to forget about Clare. It's the logical thing to do, it's the healthiest thing to do, but it's also impossible. He still loves her, and he probably always will.

Fuck, why is he thinking so much about her today? It's usually not this bad. He finally grabs the beer and walks to the tiny living room, and Chuck is gone. Eli looks under the couch but the dog isn't there, then he looks under the bookshelf, but... nothing.

"Chuck!" calls Eli, placing the beer down on the battered coffee table. He walks into his miniscule bathroom and yeah, no; Chuck isn't there either.

He hears a rustle coming from his bedroom and he sighs. Hopefully Chuck isn't chewing on one of his shoes, he really likes all of them. Eli stands paralyzed under the doorway when he sees that Chuck found a box, _the _box.

An old shoebox is flipped over, all the contents spilled on the floor. Eli hasn't looked through the box in years, but he has carried it around everywhere he goes because he can't let go of it. It's not really hoarding, it's just… _something._

"What the fuck?" yells Eli angrily, and Chuck takes off in fright, hitting himself with the nightstand as he tries to hide from Eli.

"What have you done?" breathes Eli as he kneels down to pick up the things from the floor, and Chuck starts whining miserably. Eli checks all of the items and sees that they're all undamaged, and he gives the puppy an apologetic look.

"Sorry… sorry, I didn't mean to yell at you," mumbles Eli, and Chuck has his own trembling tail between his legs. "Come here… please?"

Chuck considers him for a moment and finally moves over to where Eli is kneeling, and Eli hugs Chuck tightly. "Sorry," mutters Eli, his lips pressed against Chuck's muzzle. "You're too cute… and too sneaky."

Eli stops paying attention to Chuck for a moment and then sees Clare staring right at him. From a photo, that is.

He picks it up and sits down properly, causing Chuck to snuggle on Eli's lap. "She was so pretty," says Eli, patting Chuck on the head. "I'm sure she's still gorgeous. But I messed up."

Eli starts collecting the items and putting them in the box, all of them a reminder of Clare. "It must seem stupid to you… I don't know if you understand the concept of love," continues Eli. "You're a dog after all."

Chuck barks as if offended, and Eli starts chuckling. "Okay, you seem pretty smart," laughs Eli. "So maybe you _do _understand. I just miss her a lot, you know? She understood me, and it seemed like she was going to stick around and then… she didn't.

"It was kind of my fault," sighs Eli. "I pushed her away. I loved her too much. Still do, I guess."

Chuck starts sniffing the photograph and lets out a soft bark. "Her name is Clare."

The reaction from the dog shocks Eli to death. Chuck jumps off of his lap and starts howling, his ears perked up, and he starts running around in circles like a maniac.

"Whoa, boy, slow down," says Eli, trying to touch Chuck, but the dog merely bites him hard in the hand.

"Fuck!" gasps Eli as blood drops start running down his hand. The bite is starting to sting, and Chuck runs out of the bedroom, still howling.

"Shut up!" says Eli hysterically, knowing that his landlord has a no-pets policy, and grabs the dog from the floor. Chuck is struggling against Eli's arms, but Eli has a good grip on him.

"Maybe you need some air, come on," groans Eli, and they exit the apartment. Eli runs down the flight of stairs, hoping that the landlord is asleep or not home, and they finally hit the parking lot. Eli puts Chuck on the ground and the dog stays still, the cold air making both of them shiver. Eli buries his hands in his pockets and looks around, a bright-colored flyer glued to a post catching his eye.

"Chuck, follow me," he says, and the puppy obeys. Eli gets closer and closer to the flyer, his heart stopping for a second when he sees the picture on it.

It's Chuck.

But his name isn't Chuck, it's Ted. "They named you Ted? Sorry, man," snickers Eli. "What kind of name is that for a dog?"

Eli skips over the description and looks at the phone number at the bottom, and he tries hard not to start hyperventilating. He gives Chuck a glance and the dog is looking at Eli in amusement, if a dog can do such a thing.

It can't be, there is no way, and no, no, this is a fucking dream.

_Contact Clare Edwards. _


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi. **

**Author's note: After re-reading **_**Xynedochy**_** and **_**The Heart Rate of A Mouse**_** by arctic_grey and watching **_**Marley and Me**_** last week, I came up with the idea for this fic.**

**This is the conclusion. I had two endings for this, but damn it, I want happy Eclare so I don't care if this is realistic or not! Muahaha. Hope you enjoy it! **

"_You remind me of a former love that I once knew... and you carry a little piece with you."_

_**I Have Friends in Holy Spaces | Panic! At The Disco **_

"You knew. You came here to find me, didn't you?"

Eli looks at the rearview mirror, the pup in the backseat reflected on it. Chuck (because Eli refuses to call him Ted) barks in a friendly way, and Eli feels terrified. He stares at the flier in his hand, knowing that it's already nighttime and probably not the right time to call.

If he calls. Because he's not sure he's ready for this.

"I haven't seen her in years, Chuck," sighs Eli, leaning his head against the steering wheel. "Years."

Chuck barks again and Eli closes his eyes, remembering the last time he saw Clare. It was a bit before graduation, and she only said three words to him. Three words that weren't the words he wanted to hear.

_Good luck, Eli. _

"I loved her, I love her, I will always love her," says Eli miserably. Chuck starts whining and Eli can't help but laugh. "Now, boy, I don't want you to go all emo on me."

After thinking about it for a couple minutes, Eli finally reaches for his phone and dials the number on the flier. He waits, his heart threatening to collapse, and a click tells him that someone has answered the phone.

"Hello?"

His world falls apart, and he can't think or breathe or anything. It's Clare, it's undoubtedly and unequivocally _Clare_, because her voice almost sounds the same. He can see the blue-eyed girl holding on to the phone, waiting for an answer. His answer. Shit, he has to say something.

"Um, I found your dog," says Eli hoarsely, wondering if she will be able to recognize his voice. Chuck barks in the background as if to support Eli's statement.

"Wow, I just put out the flier this morning!" says Clare excitedly and Eli realizes with a heavy heart that Clare has no idea who she's talking to. "Thank you! Is it really Ted? Does he have the markings and everything?"

"Yeah," says Eli breathlessly, his tone still low. "Um, so… what now?"

"There's this dog-friendly café near my apartment," says Clare, now sounding cautious. "I'll give you the address and we can meet there. Unless it's too late for you."

"I just want to get rid of this dog," sighs Eli. "Give me the address."

There are so many things he wants to say to Clare, but he writes down the address on the back of the flier instead. So she probably doesn't miss him. Of course she doesn't.

"See you in a bit," says Clare happily.

"Yeah, bye," responds Eli emotionlessly and he hangs up. He glances at the rearview mirror and sees that Chuck has his head lowered, looking miserable.

"I don't want to get rid of you," says Eli reassuringly, wondering if that's why Chuck looks sad. "I had to say that because I wanted to get off the phone. She has forgotten about me, hasn't she?"

Chuck merely licks himself, ignoring Eli. And Eli doesn't blame the dog for it, he would love to ignore himself too. He turns on the engine, hating his small car, and starts driving, headed to heartache.

_**xxxxx**_

He sits at the outside table impatiently; he sips on his soda while Chuck obediently sits next to him. Eli knows that he could have shaved or something, groomed himself to see his ex-girlfriend, just to prove that he's doing very well, thank you.

But that would be lying. And lying isn't his thing.

"Ted!" an excited voice calls, and Chuck runs off, making Eli turn around in his chair.

Clare. Beautiful, gorgeous, breathtaking Clare Edwards has her arms wide open as the puppy runs over to her. Eli gulps nervously, and he wonders if he should just walk away, because Clare hasn't seen him. He stands up quickly, leaving a couple bills on the table, and makes his decision.

Yeah, he's leaving.

"Wait!" calls Clare after him, and Eli stands still. He turns around slowly and sees Clare elated expression turn into one of shock and confusion. She's holding a blatantly excited Chuck in her arms, the puppy licking every single part of Clare's face he can reach.

"Eli," she gasps.

"Hi," mumbles Eli, scratching his chin anxiously. "So, um, I found your dog at the park near my place. Saw the flier. Called. That's it."

Clare is still staring at him in disbelief, so Eli takes advantage of this moment to study her. She looks pretty much the same, maybe a little taller, but she's still beautiful. Her blue eyes are still incredibly expressive, and he looks at her hand. She's still wearing her purity ring. Oh.

"Bye then," says Eli awkwardly, but Clare moves closer to him.

"Do you want to talk? Go back to my place and… talk?" asks Clare, sounding terrified.

Eli knows he shouldn't, he knows that he should leave and forget this ever happened. But Chuck is also looking at him with those big brown eyes of his, as if pleading.

"O-okay."

**xxxxx**

"He's a rescue," explains Clare as Chuck runs around the kitchen like a maniac. Eli holds the glass of water between his hands as if holding on to safety, and he can't bring himself to look at Clare.

"That's nice of you," says Eli politely, and drinks from the glass. The water stays in his mouth, though, because swallowing is not a possibility right now.

"I can't believe _you _found him," says Clare. Eli glances at Clare and finally swallows as his hands start to shake.

"I think he found me, to be perfectly honest," says Eli bluntly. A couple of awkward minutes pass by and this is _not _how Eli thought things would be if he ever saw Clare again. He hoped to have money and a beautiful girlfriend or something badass like that, but no. They're just two uncomfortable adults in a tiny kitchen, trying to act friendly.

"Today's your birthday," blurts Clare out of the blue.

"You remember," nods Eli, his face warming up.

"Of course I do," says Clare, smiling timidly. "I remember everything."

"You didn't recognize my voice on the phone though," Eli reminds her.

"You sound different now," blushes Clare. "Your voice is deeper somehow."

They both chuckle uneasily, both of them noticing how the years have changed them in more ways than one. "What are you up to these days?" asks Clare curiously.

"I work part-time as a copy editor," says Eli lazily. "I like it. You?" He avoids Clare's eyes after saying that, because he knows he hates his crappy job.

"I work at a daycare," smiles Clare. "I got my English degree but apparently kids were my true calling all along. I really enjoy it."

Chuck suddenly stops running around and stops in front of them, letting out the most ear-piercing howl ever known to man.

"Chuck!" yells Eli.

"Ted!" snaps Clare.

The dog stops howling, and Eli and Clare are just staring at each other in amusement.

"Chuck?" snorts Clare.

"I had to name him something," mutters Eli. "And I love Palahniuk, so there. You named him Ted! What kind of lame name is that?"

"Ted Hughes, Eli," deadpans Clare, and her eyes are full of hurt. And they're suddenly teenagers again, sitting at Miss Dawes' class. _Like Sylvia Plath and Ted Hughes. _

Chuck/Ted growls and runs off, leaving them all alone.

"I'm sorry," whispers Clare, tears rolling down her cheeks. And Eli knows she's apologizing for everything that happened between them, and his resentment is gone.

"I'm sorry too," he says sincerely, hoping that Clare knows that he never meant to drag her down his path of self-destruction.

"My job sucks," chuckles Clare, wiping her tears away. "I rarely talk to my parents, Darcy is still in Kenya, Alli moved… I'm so alone. That's why I adopted Ted. He pretty much named himself, you know? I was reading a Ted Hughes' essay collection and _this _Ted kept sniffing the book. And he reminded me of you…"

"Ted Hughes or dog Ted?" smirks Eli. "Either way… ouch!"

"Dog Ted," giggles Clare. "He had this lost expression in his eyes when I got him, and he kept barking at me, pushing me away… but once he got used to me, he became the most adorable puppy on Earth."

"Did he go psycho on you? Did he crash his favorite toy bone against the wall?" mocks Eli.

"Eli, please," says Clare sternly.

"Just wondering," says Eli, closing his eyes. "Every single day I think of what I should have done. Of what I shouldn't have. But either way, I think we were doomed. "

"We're different now," says Clare pensively.

"Are we really?" asks Eli, raising an eyebrow. "I'm still a bit of a mess. I hate my job, I feel so lonely every day, and when Chu- _Ted_ waltzed in, I clung on to him. And I've only had him for a few hours. I don't know, Clare, things seem the same to me."

Clare doesn't say anything, and then Chuck/Ted struts into the room, a pair of headphones between his teeth.

"I recognize those," says Eli, breaking the tension.

"I was going through some boxes the other day," says Clare in embarrassment. "Ted wouldn't let go of them, so I hid them from him, and he got out of the house the next day. That's when he got lost."

"Really?" muses Eli. "Because, I have this box where I keep stuff from high school and he went through it… and he freaked out when he started sniffing a photo of you."

Eli and Clare stare at the dog, which merely places the headphones on the floor before leaving the kitchen again. Eli wants to laugh at the situation. This dog is a sneaky little bastard.

"This is really weird," admits Clare, and Eli nods along. He glances at his watch and realizes that he has to leave soon; he has to be at work early tomorrow.

Eli starts to stand up and Clare follows him, taking the headphones from the floor.

"Do you want them back? Even if they're covered with dog spit?" smirks Clare.

"Nah, Ted likes them," says Eli, wrinkling his nose in disgust.

"Are you sure?" asks Clare and Eli shrugs, nodding his head. Clare places the headphones on the table and she smiles at Eli, placing a finger on his cheek.

"You look funny," she says quietly.

"You're just helping my self-esteem, Edwards," says Eli sarcastically, trying not to shiver at Clare's touch.

"You haven't shaved, that's what I meant," mumbles Clare, and Eli moves closer to her.

"Perks of being a grown up," breathes Eli, aligning his nose with Clare's.

"I keep forgetting we're adults now," gulps Clare, her breath warming Eli's lips.

"Yeah… we are," says Eli, not able to stop himself. He wants to kiss her, badly, he has been thinking about this for years. He never gave Clare a _last _kiss, and that's one of his biggest regrets. And here they are, their lips almost touching, and he doesn't know what to do.

He hears Chuck barking somewhere in the apartment and he thinks of the puppy that brought them back together, how the puppy found Eli sitting all alone… and he thinks that maybe, just maybe, this is something a little like fate.

So he decides to kiss her.

Clare responds gently, as if testing the waters, but she ends up putting her arms around Eli's neck. Eli kisses her in the same gentle manner, both of them taking their time. Eli attempts to deepen the kiss, but something is tugging at the hem of his jeans.

Eli stops kissing Clare and looks down, Chuck staring right back at him.

"Can I call him Chuck?" asks Eli, grinning at the dog. "Calling him Ted depresses me to no end."

"I guess," sighs Clare mockingly, and Chuck barks.

"You're sneaky, pup," chuckles Eli.

"I'm sure he'll want you to visit again," says Clare bashfully, her face extremely red.

"I want to see him again," says Eli, tucking a stray curl behind Clare's ear. "Maybe we'll have long conversations, I'll tell him about my crazy teenage years."

"That would be nice," grins Clare, and Eli kisses her again.


End file.
